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Coming On a Little Too Strong?

March 22, 2019 mithra ballesteros
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I have a friend who always asks me, "Did you get the Halloween invite from blah blah blah?" or "Are you going to blah blah blah's 40th birthday party?" The first few times it happened and I responded that no, actually, I did not get that invite, she was always shocked. Which made it so much worse. "Huh!" she would say, like this was a puzzle. Like maybe I’d been on the original invite list but somehow something changed.

After this happened a number of times, my friend learned to be more discrete. Now she simply asks, "Did you get an invite in the mail yesterday?" This question is much less specific but not necessarily less stressful. 

Because when I go to the mailbox to check and the only invite is a postcard from a woman running for judge, I'm left wondering if I am excluded once again or is this judge's fundraiser the invite my friend is taking about? And maybe it's going to be the party of the year and should I think twice before tossing the postcard?

I could call my friend and ask her but odds are, this is not the invite she is talking about. 

She grew up here, so I get that her social strata is deep and rich like a tiramisu while mine is more like the after-school snack my mother always made— graham crackers topped with a swipe of canned Betty Crocker frosting.

I asked my other friend Chris about this lack of invitations. "Well, you're not for everyone," she says. "You come on a little strong." 

“Like Dijon mustard?” I ask. 

"Like Limburger cheese," she says.

Hmpff. 

I leave in a couple of days for Alt Summit, a big juicy blog conference in Palm Springs. The first time I went, I knew not one soul. It felt like sorority rush. So many women, mostly younger than me, and many of them Mormon who, let’s be honest, can be a little clubby. Every day I’d paste on a big smile and every night I’d retreat to my hotel room, exhausted from being so plasticky. After three days, I learned a ton but didn’t make a single real friend.

The second time I went, I decided to be my Limburger self. And wouldn’t you know, I lucked into meeting Tina on the first night. She was one of those “magnet” people who can’t help drawing people together. She’s no shrinking violet either. Very wasabi and spicy.

Through Tina, I met a gang of women whom I adore. We room together, we stay in touch, we support each other. It is a real sisterhood. A conference in Peoria, Illinois would be a blast with these friends. Luckily, we will be in Palm Springs! I’ll be back on the blog in a couple weeks to share content from the classes and talks. And maybe tales of friendship too.


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In Lessons Tags Alt Summit
← Procrastination Links 03.25.19What Exactly Is Behind Helicopter Parenting? →

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Welcome! I'm Mithra (pronounced Mee-thra). I'm an interior stylist and a writer. I'm also a vintage and antiques lover. I have an online shop, Finder Not Keeper, where I sell my best finds. (That's a white lie. I keep the best finds.) Read more about me and the blog here. 


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Instagram posts

A few days back in the ‘Quon. All of February is the price I’m willing to fork over for one week in September.
A few days back in the ‘Quon. All of February is the price I’m willing to fork over for one week in September.
Latest blog post about our new outdoor shower and the differences of opinion between this guy and his mother (me) on how it should be used. #linkinbio
Latest blog post about our new outdoor shower and the differences of opinion between this guy and his mother (me) on how it should be used. #linkinbio
Brainy, brave, kind, genuine, indefatigable, funny, patriotic, fair, hard working, gentle, strong, iconic.
Brainy, brave, kind, genuine, indefatigable, funny, patriotic, fair, hard working, gentle, strong, iconic.
Those aren’t my hands forming baguettes. But I took the pic. @heat_her_all_a_man has it down  and I’m ready with my salted butter and honey. What do you eat with baguettes?
Those aren’t my hands forming baguettes. But I took the pic. @heat_her_all_a_man has it down and I’m ready with my salted butter and honey. What do you eat with baguettes?
Surveying the herb garden after a good weeding session. Basil took a hit the last couple weeks but everything else is flourishing like summer lasts forever.
Surveying the herb garden after a good weeding session. Basil took a hit the last couple weeks but everything else is flourishing like summer lasts forever.
First restaurant account for @littlelaurentide! Also first time eating out since the snow was flying. Really really fun night. (Not to mention that building’s white with black trim paint color scheme is 💯)
First restaurant account for @littlelaurentide! Also first time eating out since the snow was flying. Really really fun night. (Not to mention that building’s white with black trim paint color scheme is 💯)
Surprise lilies, also known as naked ladies, fit in well here at the farm for reasons we will let you ponder.
Surprise lilies, also known as naked ladies, fit in well here at the farm for reasons we will let you ponder.
This is son #2, the farmer. Walter is working hard to turn this place into a sustainable organic farm. Follow us @littlelaurentide for the latest on how mother and son align, clash, argue, hug.
This is son #2, the farmer. Walter is working hard to turn this place into a sustainable organic farm. Follow us @littlelaurentide for the latest on how mother and son align, clash, argue, hug.
On the blog today, the newest bachelor at Little Laurentide. Will he draw viewers or is he a train wreck along the lines of Juan Pablo Galavis? Read the latest blog post to find out! Link in bio.
On the blog today, the newest bachelor at Little Laurentide. Will he draw viewers or is he a train wreck along the lines of Juan Pablo Galavis? Read the latest blog post to find out! Link in bio.
On the blog today: a tour of the best places on the farm to sit for a spell. And I write a bit about what it’s like to cohabit with a son who used to give me every kind of gray hair. He could teach a polar bear how to be grumpy and I could teac
On the blog today: a tour of the best places on the farm to sit for a spell. And I write a bit about what it’s like to cohabit with a son who used to give me every kind of gray hair. He could teach a polar bear how to be grumpy and I could teach a grizzly bear how to be grumpy. It’s a new world for the two of us, farming together, and can you guess how it’s going??

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