When I was in the sixth grade, I wrote a play called "A Thanksgiving to Remember." My wonderful teacher, Mr. Hombaker, agreed to stage it for the parents of Room 117. The plot was an eleven-year-old's version of Little House on the Prairie meets The Waltons, with plenty of woolen clothing, blizzards, meagre rations, and general misery on the plains. I don't know how to describe how horrible this play was. Truthfully, the only action that took place involved the characters setting the table, speaking a few lines like, "Sure hope Pa's oxen team blah blah blah," and then clearing the table. Plates on. Plates off. Plates on. Plates off. I remember overhearing some first-grader in the front row groan to his mom, "Not the dishes again!"

My fascination with a well laid table has not abated since.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

Teddy Roosevelt said that. Was he talking about pruning your yard to make your centerpiece? Indeed he was.

The easiest way to make a table festive is to use what is in abundance. In Wisconsin, that means pine boughs and pine cones. And snow. By incorporating organic elements from the environment into your tabletop collage, you get the same satisfaction as serving up vegetables straight from the garden. It closes the distance between Mother Earth, the table, and you.

"No matchy-matchy!"

Heidi Klum said that. Nearly every week on Project Runway, some poor designer dares to pair black shoes with a black dress and Heidi hollers. Take her advice to heart in the home as well and embrace the mix. I set this table with eight different patterns of brown transferware and three different patterns of crystal. It's a hodgepodge that works. Frankly, this new 'rule' makes everything so much easier. And livelier.

"Give me one hour alone with you in your house."

I said that. It reads vaguely threatening but I'm saying it in a sing-song voice.

If you need help with your holiday tables, call me or inbox me or email me. I'll help you make the most of what you have. I'll encourage you to mix things up. I'll bring along some fabulous finds from my inventory. I'll puzzle out your personal decorating style that maybe needs to be voiced. And I'll make you laugh. Because if it's not fun, then we may as well eat mayonnaise straight out of a jar.