The election season has been a pox upon us all. With one more week to go and no sign of relief, how do we inoculate ourselves from this madness? Humor, my friend. Humor. 

In that spirit, let's address the question of who among our candidates and their spouses is truly qualified to carry out the heavy responsibility of picking out presidential china.

Before you call me frivolous and click away, give me a moment to make my case. 

WHO CARES AND WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

I care! In case you haven't perused my shop, I feel a strong affection for dishware. I am also an avid follower of politics. Thus, the two interests can be encapsulated in a discussion of china. Really, the office of the president of the United States comes with very few vestiges -- portraits and china. Both are like the royal jewels. They're lasting.

And the ability to pick out good china is just another criteria for judging our candidates. We've certainly judged them by sillier standards. With whom would you rather share a beer?

Hillary has already stated for the record that if she is elected, Bill won't be allowed near this dish decision. At the same time, after looking at her previous choice in the china department back in 1990, maybe it's best to defer to Chelsea.  

Trump could probably save taxpayers a lot of cash and bring his own. What happened to the dishes that supplied his bankrupt casino? And is there a chance that Melania would abdicate the responsibility to Ivanka, her designer step-daughter with really good taste?

THE NEWEST PRESIDENTIAL DISHES

First Lady Michelle Obama selected a subdued pattern called "Kailua Blue," a nod to the tropical waters of Hawaii. I like the white relief pattern on the rim of the dinner plate. Also, did you know that she is the first First Lady to commission soup bowls? Which is mind boggling. Is it bad protocol to serve soup at state dinners? Lots of slurping, lots of spillage on ties, too hot, too cold, etc. By the way, the company that manufactured the Obama dishes is Pickard China, located in Antioch, Illinois, just down the road from here. 

THE BEST PRESIDENTIAL DISHES

No one is going to come close to the originality of Lucy Ware Webb Hayes, wife of Rutherford B. Hayes, and First Lady from 1877-1881.  The china she commissioned with wildlife illustrations by artist Theodore Davis do not resemble any other presidential patterns. No eagles, crests, seals, or garishly thick bands of gold for Lucy. She was a nature girl, and loved birds to the point that she actually perfected many different bird calls. She was also the first First Lady to graduate from college. And she was a member of my sorority. We are sisters in dishes! 

NO RABBLE-ROUSERS PLEASE!

Either way, let's hope there's no repeat of Andrew Jackson's epic china throwdown of 1829. During his inauguration, thousands of out-of-control "guests" got a little shwasted up in the White House, breaking Presidential dishes, tossing trays of apps, and basically behaving like a mobocracy. 

Mind your manners, America. It's our House. 

Photos via The White House Historical Association

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