This post is not about politics! It has nothing to do with a divided nation or anything like that. This is about you and me and how we can better talk with each other. Recently I’ve received a few notes from you, my dear readers that leaving comments can be a bit confusing. And sometimes you can’t find my newsletter in your inbox. I love reading what you have to say, and I definitely want you to enjoy the newsletter eachRead More
Yes! My husband’s lifelong dream of farming has become a reality. My lifelong dream of writing high humor about chickens is on the verge of happening. We just purchased the prettiest farm you can imagine!
The excitement has nearly killed us. We can’t sleep for our anticipation. We wake up every day, look at each other and giggle, like we are seven and it’s Christmas morning. The last time I felt this way was when we first met. So I guess I’ve fallen in love!Read More
I thought I'd share some outtakes from a recent photo shoot. This one involved a borrowed wading pool (thank you Stacey, as always), a pig trough's worth of milk, lots of paint, and an artist willing to subject herself to this crazy scheme. Linda Bleck, the children's book illustrator is the subject of a feature profile coming soon to the blog. But I am not giving anything away by stating how grateful I was for her trust. Perhaps because she is herself so utterly creative, she was open to all ideas, God bless her, including full milk submersion.Read More
This is an all points bulletin. My finger puppets, last seen above in front of Cinderella's Castle in Orlando Florida, are AWOL.
Somewhere in the Magic Kingdom, I left them, careless mother that I am. And not the first time either. Once, years ago, I lost a human child in Disney World. Every staff member within a 2-mile radius sprang into action and George was found quicker than you could say bob's your uncle.
Not quite that reaction from the staff this time.
This is a huge issue for me but maybe you're with the staff on this one. Do you care? Have you ever cared? Have you just tolerated these puppets this whole time and now you're secretly relieved?Read More
I was out to lunch with someone I hadn't seen in a couple years. I asked her, "How's your nephew? The one who lived with you for a while?"
She made a face. "He's shacking up with a woman of questionable character," she said.
"Drugs?" I asked.
"No, she's an exotic dancer." And then she leaned in and said, "But please don't think I'm judging you."Read More
It is time for a new profile pic. I'll tell you the reason in a moment. I saw the photo on the left and decided that this was the look I needed.
Renn, my most trusted photographer, said, "No, I don't think this is going to work."
"But I'm a sexy laaady," I said.Read More
One afternoon last summer, I fell asleep on the patio and dreamt that a deer walked up and licked me. I awoke with a start and there in the distance stood a doe, gazing at me, and — I am not making this up —her eyes were filled with longing.
No surprise, really, when one considers that I am perpetually covered in a thin sheen of salt, a side-effect of hot flashes. That day was no different. To the doe, I must have appeared a rounded-off salt lick.Read More
This week's post is nothing at all about antiques or design. But you guys like it when I veer off topic. I know this because Mailchimp tells me so.
Mailchimp is the platform I use for sending my newsletter every Friday. I love Mailchimp, and I'll tell you why in a moment. But first, let's talk about the worst email I ever sent you, performance-wise.Read More
You did not misread that headline. I'm not writing about a "cold snap." In my Wisconsin world, this is "cold crack" season and I dread it like I dread a pile of unfolded fitted sheets.
To be honest, it's not exactly the crack that's cold. It's the upper jowls of the buttocks that retain coldness with an awful tenacity.
But "cold crack" has a nice ring to it. It's an anatomical alliteration that was invented by my friend Mike. He talks in rapid fire double entendres and makes puns in his sleep.Read More
No photoshop here. This is an actual snapshot of my high school classmate, circa 1980. (To protect his identity, we can call him "Ken Nelson.") On the eve of another New Year's, let's talk about that cliché of all clichés: high school parties. If you hate reading about stupidity in action, skip to the end of this post. You'll see an odd little party accessory from 1941 that I am selling. The proceeds will go towards an old debt incurred during the most epic high school party I ever had the good fortune to attend. However, if you got a thrill out of the cracked Steuben egg in Risky Business, then read on.Read More
This post is all about Instagram. If you have no interest, I understand. Feel free to click off the page. If you're leaving me, you might as well go somewhere fun. Check out this post of boudoir photos featuring one of my fellow bloggers, Shannon. Doesn't she look so sexy?
For those who are still in the room and want to talk Instagram, thank you! I'll be sharing a few tips that I have been using for all of twelve hours (because I'm a bozo), and then, at the bottom, I'll share a few of my favorite Instagram accounts.Read More
Good design begins by breaking rules. It challenges the suppositions that society places on an object's use and look.
This set of built-in bunks (above) is a fine example of good design. The designers, Tim Barber Ltd., take a kid's furniture staple, the old rickety bunk bed, and beef it up by enclosing it, painting it an interesting non-kid color, and basically turning it into an architectural element in its own right.Read More
Have you gone back to school as an adult? Do you think that the first day jitters are worse than when you were young?
Last winter I took a class at the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design. On my first day, I was nervously digging out coins for the parking meter when a skateboarder came rolling towards me. “It’s free parking on Saturdays, you know,” he said. “Really? That’s not what the sign says,” I responded. He was already halfway down the block and over his shoulder he hollered, “Guess you’ll have to follow your heart.”Read More
It's October, baby! My favorite time of year! This collection is twisted and twee. (Great word, 'twee', which means sweet to the point of sickening.) While I was dismembering dolls for this vignette and holding plastic baby arms over the open flame on my stove, careful not to burn myself with molten doll flesh, I had to stop and count my lucky stars. It doesn't get better than this!
My vocation requires hunting things down and then matching things together in unexpected ways. Once the objects are assembled, a new thing is created which has a little of 'me' in it.Read More
Reddit is a gigantic public online forum. Its tagline is "The Front Page of the Internet." Every user has a voice, but most everyone is anonymous. As a result, bad behavior and boorish self-importance abounds. It’s cut-throat.
Reddit divides itself into categories of interest called subreddits. Each subreddit has a moderator who makes up his or her own rules. Kind of like the Wild West with a different sheriff in each town. Redditors must abide by the Sheriff's law. There is no due process in Reddit. “If you don’t like it, you can just gettttttt out.”Read More
Okay okay, I'm not knocked up. I believe the term I'm looking for is knocked off. But heck if it doesn't feel like I've been knocked up. Like, how could this happen? What should I do? What does this mean? Does this change my routine?
I'm taking a deep breath now and backing up to explain: today on one of my favorite blogs, I read about a new shop that just launched. It's called Still Life No. 3. Go ahead. Click here to take a peek. And come right back.Read More
Yesterday, Etsy, the online marketplace dedicated to all things handmade, went public. The share price was $16. I bought a bunch. I am filing this post under "Mistakes" because maybe I just made a costly one. But I don't think so. The source of my confidence is an aspect of Etsy that is too little discussed. I'll get to that in a minute. But first, a quick introduction of Etsy. (I've peppered this post with images of products purchased over the years on this fabulous marketplace. Click on each photo for information.)Read More
This is a special blog post devoted to my most favorite of holidays, April Fool's. There's even a new slideshow on Finder Not Keeper that is viewable today only. To those who may be offended by my ribald sense of humor, I can only say this: I'm doing my part to lighten the load. Tomorrow I'll make up for this unladylike behavior by ironing my duvet cover and writing the stack of thank-you notes I owe.
But for now, 'bear' with me while I tell you about the joke played on me by the carved creature in the photo above. I fell in love with his innocent eyes and when I brought him home,Read More
I've been skiing nearly my whole life and have never felt comfortable in the bumps. Once I took a fancy class on how to ski moguls from a French guy named Claude. He asked me what I wanted to learn. I said I want to look like Lindsey Vonn. He told me to plant my poles, point my boobs downhill, suck in my stomach, and keep my weight forward. I said, "Don't you mean boots? Point my boots downhill?" "No Madame," he said, making hand gestures to explain, "your boobs. Eez not what you Americans say? Or teats?"Read More
I think it's ugly. Is it the Pepto-Bismol wall color, or the hideous burnt umber tones in the wood? Either way, this composition did not start out ugly. Under the studio lights, it looked really pretty. The rods and cones of my retina told my brain that the colors complemented each other. I believed my brain and patted myself on the back for assembling a visual lovefest of vivid pastels.
But a camera lens is not an eyeball and through my photographer's camera lens, the pink wall went from a soft blush to something more like salmon. The antique tea table, which is a rich brown, turned burnt orange. And through the camera lens, I saw that the sleek decanter and cordial glasses didn't suit the polychrome plates.Read More