These Happy Golden Years

September 22, 2017 mithra ballesteros

Last summer, we almost bought a farm. It was a pretty place, up in Door County, Wisconsin, certified organic and very well-maintained. The stone and timber house sat nicely on the property, overlooking the horse pasture out front and the barley fields out back. But it was the fence of espaliered apple trees that completely captivated me.

Not that I would have a clue how to prune an espaliered apple tree fence. My mom grew up on a farm in Illinois, but she left for nursing school as soon as she could. She did not pass that knowledge along. Everything I know about farming I learned by reading the Little House books seventeen times. When the grasshopper cloud comes, you are screwed. Also, you can be minding your own business sweeping the dugout floor and by jingo, an oxen hoof will puncture you in the head. And don't even think about eating watermelons planted in the creek bottom.

The Iranian Joke Teller

June 16, 2017 mithra ballesteros

I traveled to Iowa recently to attend my niece's graduation. Over brunch, everyone was discussing a story in the news about some idiot kids who burned down one of those landmark Iowa covered bridges. They got caught when they posted photos of themselves standing at the bridge with a container of kerosene. Just despicable. We all tsk-tsked about the fall of civilization and how somewhere, Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep were crying.

Iris Knows You Can't Have It All

May 12, 2017 mithra ballesteros

A few years ago, I watched the Albert Mayles documentary on Iris Apfel, the self-described nonagenarian starlet. Have you seen it? She's quite a woman, a darling of the New York fashion industry who worked as an editor at Vogue Magazine, founded her own textile company, decorated homes of the rich and famous, and recently stars in national ad campaigns for Kate Spade and Alexis Bittar.

But only once does she touch upon one reason for her success. The director asks her about children and she says, "You can't have it all. I knew that."

Oh, did those words sting me.

What Do You Tell Your Kids About Prom?

April 28, 2017 mithra ballesteros

In my suburban town, the unwritten dress code for girls attending prom is straightforward: juniors wear long gowns and seniors wear cocktail dresses. Over the years, as four sons attended, and I went to various houses to take photos, I never witnessed anyone who challenged this rule. Except for Clare.

Clare wore a vintage sari to prom.

Look at her. Was she not most fair and lovely? And so open to the world.

A Portrait: Snowbirds in Love

February 14, 2017 mithra ballesteros

Against a wintry backdrop, a man peruses a magazine while a woman shovels snow behind him. The couple are Don and Dottie Hagan, of Des Moines, Iowa, and something about their photo reminds me of Grant Wood's painting, American Gothic. Do you see it too? The Iowa setting, Don's deadpan expression, that shovel, the house in the background.

Unlike American Gothic's subjects, who were father and daughter, Don and Dottie are husband and wife. You won't be surprised to learn that they have been married for fifty-six years.

When I saw this photo, my first question was who took it?

Hold Your Loved Ones Close

December 23, 2016 mithra ballesteros

I don't know where to begin with this post because it is about loss and suffering - tough subjects to write about at Christmas time. But the truth is, this season is difficult for many people. Sadness does not take a holiday.

And Genna, the lovely young woman in the vintage dress, knows this too well.

A Christmas Story

December 2, 2016 mithra ballesteros

My dad grew up in Hamadan, Iran, one of the oldest cities in the world. Situated in the shadow of the Zagros Mountains, Hamadan is also one of the coldest places in Iran. My dad remembers winters so frigid, the dead could not be buried.

Moving to Chicago wasn't a complete weather shock for my dad, though he admits questioning the whole idea of a tornado - it's just wind! - until the day he saw a Chevy Impala lifted off the pavement in front of his in-law's house.

Nineteen Rules to Always Being a Gentleman

October 28, 2016 mithra ballesteros

Hanging in our back hall is a poster, “The Rules to Always Being a Gentleman.” Please take a moment to read it. Catchy and clever, right?! I bought it on Etsy and when my son was moving into his new apartment, I offered to get him one too.

He said “No, thank you.”

“Why in the world not?” I asked.

Funny Thoughts on Thirty Years of Marriage

September 23, 2016 mithra ballesteros

I use an editorial calendar for my blog, and a long time ago, I penciled in "thoughts on thirty years of marriage" for today's post. So all last week while my husband and I were celebrating our anniversary with a trip to the Pacific Northwest, I kept watching him, puzzling over what wisdom I could share. He'd catch me staring at him as he tucked into a plate of meat and potatoes and ask, "What? What'd I do?"

So here's the first thing I'll share. When you're in love with a high metabolism, it's hard. My mother-in-law used to quip that what her son liked most about me was my family's chain of grocery stores.

It Was a Great Party!

August 19, 2016 mithra ballesteros

When my son and future daughter-in-law expressed their wish to elope to Yosemite and return home to Wisconsin for a backyard soirée, I couldn't have been more thrilled. My hubbie and I got married in my parents' backyard nearly thirty years ago. What an honor that my son felt our home would be the perfect place to celebrate their nuptials.

It was a boatload of work but the work was fun! It all went by too quickly. I'm ready to do it again. All I need is another bride and groom. Anyone? Anyone?

Sailing and Solitude at Summer Camp

August 5, 2016 mithra ballesteros

This is the first summer in sixteen years that we did not send a child to Camp Miniwanca. Tomorrow is the closing ceremony at this idyllic retreat on the shores of Lake Michigan, and I only know this because my sisters' kids are there. That's my niece in the photo above. She got her skipper's certification in sailing this year, just like I did in the summer of 1977.

Looking back, I'm not sure which was harder - the first day of camp experienced as a child or the last day of camp experienced as an adult.

The Politics of Attraction: a Love Story

July 22, 2016 mithra ballesteros

You know that moment when you’re dating someone you really like and you come face-to-face with some bizarre relic from his or her childhood that you never saw coming? And that still holds sway in the present? At this point, you must make a choice. You can reach for the rose-colored glasses and accept Jeff's attendance at seventy-two Grateful Dead concerts as proof of his ability to really commit; you can convince yourself that Ellen’s collection of Virgin Mary candles is not in any way unholy; you can shrug off Chris’s bathtub full of floating Fisher Price Little People as innocent fun.

Or you can run.

Listen to My Mother!

July 15, 2016 mithra ballesteros

My mother. That's her in a Kurdish costume on a trip to Iran sometime in the 1970s. She is spunky. Fun. Curious. Outspoken. One-of-a-kind. In May, I read a short essay about her at the annual Listen to Your Mother show in Milwaukee.

Babes in the Wood

June 17, 2016 mithra ballesteros

What a month. Needy babies everywhere! You might think I'm referring to the sons graduating (#2 and #4) or marrying (#1), but I'm talking about baby creatures in my yard.

In the shrubbery alongside our driveway, a mother duck built a nest and laid ten eggs. My neighbor and I fretted about the long distance to a water source but who are we to judge another mother's choices. My neighbor is up early and I'm up late, so we know everyone else's business, but somehow we missed the hatching of the ducklings because the nest is now empty. Well, not quite. There are three unhatched eggs just sitting there. Waiting.

For Goodness Sakes, a Marriage!

June 10, 2016 mithra ballesteros

On Sunday, my oldest son married his lovely Jane and I was not there.

My first-born child, the boy who tried to exit my uterus three months early, who caused me to go on bed rest just long enough to grow him into a nearly 10-pound behemoth and grow my own addiction to The People’s Court, and whose very large mass broke my tailbone during delivery, and whose young doctor misunderstood the difference between stitching my episiotomy and stitching close my anus, and whose overall departure left my nether regions so traumatized I was unable to sit for a month afterwards and had to nurse on my side like a mama pig. That son.

Busy Hands Equal a Bright Future

June 3, 2016 mithra ballesteros

Last weekend, we drove to Iowa to celebrate my nephew Graham's high school graduation. I want to share some photos of Graham's artwork. He is a talented ceramicist with an affinity for science. Or is he a talented scientist with an affinity for art? It doesn't matter. His future is bright and time will tell which direction he takes.

But it is worth delving into his earlier days. This boy, born with mad dexterity, struggled in grade school to sit still at his desk. He couldn't always control his impulses. He was the type of student who could have fallen through the cracks in a standardized system that sometimes fails kids who don't fit the mold. But he didn't.

Vladimir Putin and Peg: Part II

May 20, 2016 mithra ballesteros

Remember my friend Peg, the modern day pioneer woman with a crow named Vladimir Putin? If you missed the post, read it here. It is currently the most popular post I've ever published and is responsible for lots of new subscribers. (Hello!)

Peg adopted Vladimir Putin as a baby last spring and spent last summer and fall spoiling him. You can see from the photo collage (above) that poor Peg cannot get through a paragraph of Elizabeth Gilbert's most excellent novel A Signature for All Things without Vladimir vying for attention. Maybe he too wanted to read about Alma and her quim. (Look it up.)

Mother Hen Matchmaker on the Loose

May 6, 2016 mithra ballesteros

Phew! It's done. I just completed my dating questionnaire, uploaded two flattering images, clicked 'profile complete', and am now anxiously awaiting my matches. Once I receive "today's harvest", as it's called, I will begin the process of swiping left or right. Please let me rise above my shallow nature and judge not on looks alone.

Because my son is depending on me as his new online matchmaker. A mother gone haywire, you wonder? Nah, I thought it would be funny.

A Coywolf in Wisconsin

April 15, 2016 mithra ballesteros

On a cold and quiet school morning in February about ten years ago, I was toasting waffles when the phone rang. It was my next-door neighbor. She didn't usually call that early unless one of our kids had run away to her house. (Read that here.) Anyway, she told me that a wolf was attacking a deer under the treehouse in our backyard. I repeated her incredible message out loud to the four waffle-eaters sitting at the table.

Artists in the Family

April 8, 2016 mithra ballesteros

The couple in this photo are teacher and student. The photo was taken in the early 1950s. He looks like Salvador Dali with his pencil mustache, artsy beret, painter's smock and flamboyant tie. His lovely subject is dressed similarly and clutches a bouquet of paintbrushes. Their names are Hugo Martinez and Gisela Ballesteros and shortly after this photo was taken, they married. They have spent their lives in Bogotá, Colombia where they have dedicated themselves to the practice of art -- she as a painter and he as a sculptor.

Welcome! I'm Mithra (pronounced Mee-thra). I'm an interior stylist and a writer. I'm also a vintage and antiques lover. I have an online shop, Finder Not Keeper, where I sell my best finds. (That's a white lie. I keep the best finds.) Read more about me and the blog here.

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A few days back in the ‘Quon. All of February is the price I’m willing to fork over for one week in September.

Latest blog post about our new outdoor shower and the differences of opinion between this guy and his mother (me) on how it should be used. #linkinbio

Brainy, brave, kind, genuine, indefatigable, funny, patriotic, fair, hard working, gentle, strong, iconic.

Those aren’t my hands forming baguettes. But I took the pic. @heat_her_all_a_man has it down and I’m ready with my salted butter and honey. What do you eat with baguettes?

Surveying the herb garden after a good weeding session. Basil took a hit the last couple weeks but everything else is flourishing like summer lasts forever.

First restaurant account for @littlelaurentide! Also first time eating out since the snow was flying. Really really fun night. (Not to mention that building’s white with black trim paint color scheme is 💯)

Surprise lilies, also known as naked ladies, fit in well here at the farm for reasons we will let you ponder.

This is son #2, the farmer. Walter is working hard to turn this place into a sustainable organic farm. Follow us @littlelaurentide for the latest on how mother and son align, clash, argue, hug.

On the blog today, the newest bachelor at Little Laurentide. Will he draw viewers or is he a train wreck along the lines of Juan Pablo Galavis? Read the latest blog post to find out! Link in bio.

On the blog today: a tour of the best places on the farm to sit for a spell. And I write a bit about what it’s like to cohabit with a son who used to give me every kind of gray hair. He could teach a polar bear how to be grumpy and I could teach a grizzly bear how to be grumpy. It’s a new world for the two of us, farming together, and can you guess how it’s going??

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